tense.

i need to unwind.
i need to not feel so stressed and uptight.
i can't help it, and i can't seem to pinpoint the cause.
i need a massage, and alone time with my boyfriend.

oh, and

new years plans?

never enough

i'll never be as important or mean as much.

christmas re-cap

i haven't had my computer in days, otherwise i wouldve posted this sooner.

-panera gift card
-starbucks gift card
-visa gift card
-movie theater gift card
-a new cartigan
-a new sweater
-a photo album of my life so far
-socks
-$$$
-and my mom bought a wii for her house, which does not benefit me at all, since i don't live there.

i'm so exhausted.
i need to catch up on my sleep.

pushing on and junkyard dogs with the mongoloids tonight in VB.
should be fun.
i have to go finish getting ready before i get josh and we head out.
l8r

i'm

ready for holiday festivities.

:]]]]]]]]]

i'm stoked on life.

argryk46ki57eyrjd

RICTFGUYUHKONBJVHGB NMK!#$%^&*

i wish

i still looked like a babe...

:]

today, work was super slow.

i probably only made 20 or 30 smoothies, if that, and one sandwich.

After consuming the one sandwich i made, the customer came up and informated me i make "a bangin' good sandwhich"

that just made my day.

you need a hug.

maybe you should work for "sick of it all"
or get a job with the l.a.p.d.
did someone switch your ritalin with ephedrine?
Just don't take your fucking problems out on me.

I'd buy you a little fuzzy bunny
I'd put you on my x-mas card list
if you'd promise not to take your job so seriously
and realize you don't have to be so pissed.

life ain't all that bad. life ain't all that bad.
even if henry rollins is your dad.
life ain't all that bad. life ain't all that bad.
buck up little camper, don't be sad.

maybe you could go hunting with ted nugent
and see how many animals you could kill.
I'd pay all of my friends just to hang out with you
and take you out to sizzler for a meal.

I'd take you to my favorite karoke bar
and you sing "let the sunshine in".
you could stomp my ass into oblivion
but that doesn't mean I'll put up with your shit.

you not being here

isn't helping anything at all... 

it puts us back at square one every time.

if only we could actually start over.

"for one day

i wish everyone could say everything they want to say."

annoyed.

i'm home alone.

i'm cold.

i'm hungry.

i'm miserable.

every year at this time i swear i get like this.

i hate seasonal depression.

i really want to go to my mom's and be comforted.

my mom rules, and can make me feel better no matter what.

i haven't seen her in awhile.

i think that's all i need right now.

this week

has been insane.

i'm still trying to process everything that has happened.

currently i'm in the pollak building getting ready for my studio critique. 

i've been trying to wake josh up for over an hour now, he won't get up, sorry babe.

last night ruled:

free bread bowls

buying groceries with money that wasn't mine

free soup

apples to apples

good company

after 2pm today, i am done with class for the semester.

i'm more than stoked.

wish list

i know i will not get any of the following for christmas, but hey its my wish list.

-Nikon D80, fish eye lense

-80 gig iPod

-Navy blue pea coat

-North Face Greta TriClimate Jacket in pink

-Levi's skinny 531's

-a puppy ( in progress)

-tattooooooooos

-pastel set of Chartpak Ad Markers

-the peatcoat/bit of blue Vans authentic Lo Pro's

-a memory foam pillow top matress topper

-inspirational books.

-a macbook pro battery

-cartigans

-any seasons of the Office on DVD

-gift cards

-AND THIS http://www.johnnycupcakes.com/design/988/NauticalWindbreakerGirls

.

believe nothing you hear.

ever.

crunchies.

i

miss you.

<3

i don't

want to say goodbye.

even if it is for the best for what's going on right now.

i'm here no matter what.

in the end i think things will be better and work themselves out.

and i will look forward to the next greeting, and warm embracing.

i'm going to miss you, so much.

Copy Cat

STOKED LIST:

-copying L*nUcK and aLliGoOd's stoked lists

-pumpkin pie

-BLACKBERRY STORM

-seeing my mom

-pancake night with Evan again

-writing better blog posts

-next semseter

-this semester ending

-late nights

-driving to new playlists

-change

-joshua smiz.

i hope

you find this link, through lurking i'm sure, and i want you to know if i ever fucking see you again, you will be sorry that interaction never occurred.

i hate you so fucking much. 

you really have no idea.

shmellow

im so sleepy, this weekend's going to suck.

so much work, so little time.

i own a glow in the dark spaceship onesie now, im so stoked on it.

freezing.

i'm in bed with three sweatshirts on, sweatpants, socks and two comforters.

this weather sucks. 

as do the windows of my apartment. 

i am miserable.

no one wants to/can go to shafer with me.

so bummed.

Monday night, well Tuesday morning really, Josh surprised me. 

He told me that Huskey needed to stay with me because he was on his way back from JMU.

I agreed to letting him stay and then tried my hardest to stay up. After falling asleep and waking up freaking out that Huskey was here and freezing outside, I got a call from Josh letting me know Huskey was thirty minutes away and that I just needed to stay up a little bit longer. It was about 3:45am when i get a text saying Huskey was outside my door. You see, Huskey's phone was dead and randomly had a pre-paid phone and kept calling Little Eric and Josh because he didn't have my number memorized. I got out of bed to let Huskey in, put on sweatpants and hoodie because its freezing outside. I opened the door and Josh was standing there. I'm pretty sure that was the best I've felt all month. I was so stoked. Oh, and Little Eric was there too of course, he drove his car which surprisingly made it. Seriously, that was the best thing anyones ever done for me. 

i'm going to stop blogging so i can put my hands under the covers, they're basically frozen.

25 ta life on friday at the beach, then back to richmond for work and a fuck ton of homework.

will this semester ever end?

this

rollercoaster ride is making me nauseous.

i've gone to the gym the past three days, i'm proud of myself.

i've been working on my self motivation in all aspects of my current life as of recently.

i could post more, but i think i'm going to have a bagel and go to the gym, again.

the

wait is over.

fuck

pessimism and hatred.

cab;fioah;sdlfkjaksd

i want to get tattooed.

and i hate the way i am.

i hate how i feel all the time now.

i hate being down on myself.

i hate that i hate so much.

i wish i could rewind my life sometimes.

i miss you.

:[ 3 more days.

dizzy.

recap of the weekend:

thursday: ray ray's birthday party.

friday: lunch's for the yrc birthday event.

saturday: free show at volume

today: back in richmond.

needless to say, there was a lot of cake on peoples faces.

i miss you. a lot. i cannot wait for this week to be over. and things to be normal again.

thats all i want. i just want to lay in bed in your arms for hours. i want all of these bad feelings to just go away. its like every time you turn around there's a horrible nightmare whispering in my ear. i don't want to be scared anymore. of anything. the fear won't go away until you're back here with me, and i know for sure.

35 hours

until i'll be with you.

i gotta break free.

i just can't fail forever.

some day i will set it straight

taking chances to make things happen

for myself, no one else but me.

wirghahgakjabd;lsdhfa'ldfj

i am anxious.

i don't like it.

i have so much on my mind.

i need someone to talk to.

fucking birds.

i hate birds.

i just hate them, real live ones at least.

drawings, photographs, images of any nature of birds infatuate me though.

its bizarre.

i mean, i have a peacock on my arm, i can't hate them that much.

i saw this image and wanted it impulsively on my body.

im a strange person.

CHANGE

09.

best.

i wish i could see H2O every day of my life.

i have a presentation in 20 minutes. fuck.

i want to go to the gym today. i need to start getting my shit together.

i keep telling myself this, but i fail at it.

current to dos:

start going to the gym between 7 and 4 times a week.

acquire a bicycle.

acquire blackberry storm

set time aside to actually do my interior design work, instead of rushing before deadlines.

spend atleast an hour a week in the library researching something of interest.

stop spending money.

better myself.

give to others more, stop caring about my material needs as much.

get on a regular sleep cycle.

josh is at the beach this week.

hopefully i'll get my car and go down on friday, if that falls through does anyone/was anyone planning on going down friday night or saturday? If so, could i possibly catch a ride?

free pushing on and averman show this weekend. thats worth it.

i have to go to class now. 

farewell.

evan novak never made me pancakes

yesterday ruled.

work 10-2, that was weak.

the new pumpkin spice smoothie is my new favorite. forever.

came home, chilled, worked on my project for class. fuckkkkkk, its due tomorrow and i have bane tonight. :/ womp womp.

evan picked my up on his way home from work. did josh's laundry, made pancakes, ate candy and watched hockey. lots of hilarious moments of course. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

i did not sleep well at all last night.

i was expecting to after i got the balls to drink all the disgusting thera-flu :[

h2o and bane tonight. im pretty sure i'm going? things have been ironed out 100%.

but i know i have to get this in design shit done. oh marvelous.

sometimes

you just need a little time to yourself.

even though i'm longing to be with you, i know its better we're apart.

i just remembered how i hate sleeping alone.

.

exactly.

stream of consciousness

i fail at staying up late, many people can tell you that. i'm kind of bummed, for i was not informed of others plans. I went to Osaka with Allison and Ethan, followed by seeing Quarantine. if i am able to stay up until 4am, that will be  miracle. fuck. noone is up to talk to me on aim. my contacts keep going out of focus. i really want to passout  and say "wake me up when september ends." i carved a pumpkin tonight too. it has a shark on it. its kinda rad. i haven't carved a pumpkin in so long, and my carving tools were a bit in adequate. bummed. must stay awake.

vhlk.j;cdxdtyguhJ;o

i want to die

i've barely slept these past few days.
fuck critiques.
and fuck teachers who make all your shit due on the same day, when they know you have a HUGE critique.

i need to decide if i'm going home tonight or tomorrow.
i'm so tired.
i just want to sleep forever.
trash talk is tonight.

i want to hibernate.
i'm not making any sense right now.

BEST.

This past weekend at the beach has been prosperous.

Sweet Highlights:
Pentagram Fires, Ihop with Nathan Novak until 5am, Little Eric punching himself in the head, Chris being a pedophile, Getting free drinks at Starbucks, Almost dying of laughter in Chipotle and killer chillers.

When we got here for the Pushing On show, I only had $6 and we were late. I gave Josh my six bucks so he wouldn't miss their set, which they had held up for him. Came to find that they were marking people's necks with X's and that it was $8 due to the inflation of two bands dropping. "How are you? Yellow." Other than the initial bummer of the show issues, the only other negative outcome was some awkwardness and boredum.

It's been weird being in suburbia for the weekend. A change of scenery is always good though. When Little Eric gets out of the shower we will begin our trek back to RVA, where I have a fuck ton of work to do. Tonight will not be fun, seeing as how I stayed up all night last night. I will survive. Hopefully I'll score some new Vans on the way back. I'm stoked.

FALLING WATER TRIP

was a blast. here are a few pictures.

i hate bus rides. 

and i hate clique-y grad students.

but the site was amazing.

kelsey and i took some quality LOL shots. 

I'd recommend everyone go, if you like architecture, even if its only a little bit.

and i will most definately go again.

couldn't say it better.

perfect.

never not

listening to The Ataris.

If I have the opportunity to listen to music, they're always a top choice.

Yesterday I was awoken by a call from Brian Bailey announcing his departure from Fredericksburg to Richmond. Instantly stoked. Brian and I go way back, even though we've grown apart a few times, I certainly consider him to be one of my closest friends. Shortly after that call I received another from a man selling a bed via Craigslist which I had replied to. He came by and dropped the bed off. Brian arrived and we embraced. Shafer lunch, amazing ravioli. Went to target to get new bed stuff, then VA Hardcore and Metal Fest. Everything about this show screamed Fredericksburg, which I do not miss at all. Young, skeezy ass girls, boys who spend more time on their hair than i do, kids in shirts that have gold impact font on them. Ugh. Got Bottoms Up with Josh then Brian took me home so I could get ready for work.

Work was hell. The box office is supposed to close at 11, at 10:58 seven SUV's with atleast 8 people each in them pulled up. fuck my life. We didn't get out of work until 12:30ish.  Not to mention the cast last night left me pissed off and wanting to confront almost all of them about how shitty they are at being scary/acting/delivering lines. 

Came home showered, and then was joined by Josh, Chris and Brandon. We set out on a journey to Wal-Mart to acquire food, for it was the only place open really. While perusing the frozen food isles, Josh had the epiphany of IHOP. worst idea ever. The service was god awful, it was packed and our waiter, Akmehd did not believe in putting ice in lemonade. Laughing in a deliriant state until about four in the am. Chris bitched and we got our food half off. That manager blew. 

Mom came into town today to pick up my old bed. We went to Target and she bought me groceries, fuck yeah. I love my mom so much and I'm so glad I got to see her. I wish I could be a higher power and make things work out for her. She's the strongest woman I know, I aspire to be her. She's my everything.  

accomplished.

staying up all fucking night for shafer breakfast rules so hard.

french toast & soy-sage FTW.

goodnight.

truth.

Orbs?
Orbs have many names including globes, globules, balls of light, and hovering round balls. They appear in all ranges of brightness from bright-&-glowing to faded-&-barely-visible. They are usually quite fast and follow an erratic pattern of flight. Positive orbs are believed to be the spirits of the dead by many. However, other theories suggest that they might be separate life forms or even nature spirits. The problem is that many orb photos are false positives. Read on...

What percentage of orb photos are false?
As you might know there is a controversy concerning orbs in regards to authenticity. Although a lot of them are believed to be authentic, there are still many showing up as a result of airborne particles (dust) at the time of the flash. This happens in both indoor & outdoor shots. Because of this, it's making it really hard to disassociate the false positive orbs from the real ones. An example of airborne particles would be like opening a heavy curtain inside of a dark room to let in the light. Have you ever done that and seen all the dust in the beam of the light? Well dust can show up in pictures as orbs, especially when dust is close to the lens, and most especially with digital cameras. That's just one example, moisture (humidity), mold,& pollen are also contributors of false positive orb photos. Because of this, there is no real way to confirm authenticity with our present knowledge, therefore the consensus would have to be that most orb photos are false positives.  Perhaps as many as 50-90 percent of orb photos are nothing more than the conditions at the time of the flash. 

read more

Hi H8A.

CUTEST PICTURE EVER.

last night was strange.

i was stoked on being awake, and hyper.

everyone else was sleepyhead wiggas.

played some rockband.

then rachel and i went to walmart.

we proceeded to pick up greg on the way.

i've been in such a weird mood.

i think i take things people say to heart too much and think that i'm always the one who fucked up, thanks dad for that.

fruit loops to-go and chocolate soymilk juice box for breakfast. mmm.

i'm starting to worry things won't work out. as things often don't with me. you can't let things overcome and surpass you. that's one thing i know for sure. i've learned amazing things can get ruined by letting the little things and apprehension take over. 

fuck that. i am better, and i know i am. optimism is key.

i care, whether you want to believe me or not. success is the only option.

i also think that some times i am overly strong-willed sometimes. oh well, it's better than apathy.

and i'm learning something new everyday, from here on out. i'm not wasting time anymore. no more procrastination. 

anyway, back to class.

i just needed to say all of that.

skarhead and bulldoze tonight. 

UR M0$H!NG.

bummer.

I've been so lame today.

Lack of sleep, lack of motivation to do my school shit.

I miss my mom, a lot.

Once Haunts is over for the year I'm definitely trying to go home for the weekend and bring Josh to meet my mom and sisters.

Aside from my extreme laziness, things are pretty sweet. 

Overall, Life is good again.

fail

again, i fail at life.

i am a fuck up.

fuck my life.

merry christmas.

and a happy new year.
greetings from 306 N. Harrison st.

The past few days have been quite memorable.
Here are pictures from Mark's Birthday Cookout, incase you haven't checked them out.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31353125@N06/sets/72157607946962982/

New flickr too, btw.

So much has happed that I havent written about, whatever.

Currently the following individuals are at my house:
J world
Alli Good
Ethan
RAYRAY
C STREETS
L*NUCK
Brandon Webb
Rachel
Little Eric

homemade tattoos all around.
Josh got XXX inbetween his fingers,
Ray Ray got a GG Allen tattoo
Rachel got an upside down cross on her big toe
and Little Eric got something. i forget what it says.
But, there is a comma in it, which should be a semicolon to be grammatically correct.

Who knows what the night will turn into.
I think some rockband is about to happen.
Brandon's trying to go back to the graveyard that we went to the other night.
We got chased by cloaked figures with lanterns, scary as fuck.

I have class early tomorrow. I haven't done much of anything for my projects.
I need to get on that tomorrow.
I hate Mondays, they're so long.
Class from 9:15-10 and then 1:30-6:15.
It sucks ass.
blarg.
I'll stop being anti-social and get off the computer now.
again, Merry Christmas.

STOKED

I'm waiting until this comes out to upgrade my phone. 

hands down.

Anyway, we rolled to WaWa 7 deep in a LandRover. Yeah, you know, legit. 

Killer Chiller tonight, still going on:

Josh

Ethan

Allison

L*NUCK

Chris

Rachel 

Heather

Kage

Cameron.

Doctors appointment at 10:30am tomorrow.

Then class, then Haunts Opening Weekend.

STOKEDDDDDDD.

Life is so good.

the luckiest.

I am overwhelmed with happiness.
It doesn't get much better than this.

I am, the luckiest.

ffffound was full of good images today.

Wants and Needs.

more longsleeves.

northface.

blackberry storm.

$$$.

56cm road bike.

cannon rebel xt digital SLR.

windows xp and parallels.

brown vans low profiles.

cobalt vans authentics.

my car.

a queen sized bed.

the office on dvd, all seasons.

the wonder years on dvd.

freaks and geeks on dvd.

to go to Europe.

to go on adventures all of the time.

infinite supply of vitamin water. 

for the food service to stop trying to sabotage my vegetarianism. 

a real pair of ray banz.

new glasses.

a lego castle.

a kitchen i can actually bake in. 

a puppy.

more dresses.

a new haircut. 

that's all for now.

list is subject to grow and change.

Happy Haunting.

Opening weekend of Blood Lake, two thirds of the way through.

I'm way stoked on it.

It's been a blast.

Last night i was a torture victim and got a ton of positive reactions from the customers.

Tonight I was Nurse Green, basically the orphans gouges my eye out because I stared at them funny. I had a sweet prosthetic over my right eye. It's off in the picture, they took it off while I was still at the Haunt. I also took a sweet face dive into a beam, not having functioning vision in my right eye and probably will have a killer bruise in the morning.

  I slept until three today, that was pretty epic. Woke up, got Quizno's with Josh then headed to Red Dragon to see Chris get his ankles tattooed. I scurried from Red Dragon back to the apartment where I had left my phone charging.  Two missed calls from Kendal, and a few text messages, nothing important. Shortly after I hopped into Kendal's car and we drove out to the Haunt. Next weekend hopefuly everything will be ready to go. Sandy and Scott both have 9-5 jobs and do the attraction, they've gotten so much done but there's still a ton more to do before all of the effects will be ready.

 I have tomorrow off, thank goodness. I need a break. Hopefully Josh and I will make it to the park. We've been saying we were going to go on many occasions but we end up sleeping in and missing prime park hours. 

I'm waiting for Josh to get here actually. He was in the Bottom with the gang. I still haven't washed my face off. I'm all icky. Meh, whatevs. I  need to start doing my research for my wall project form Camden's class. I assume thats what I will be doing the majority of the day tomorrow, that is if I get up before it's the afternoon. So many thoughts, my brain's on overload. I think I should draw, after i clean up that is. 

Happy October, and Happy Haunting.

exhausted.

Today was prosperous i suppose.

I had class from 12-115, the teacher was late and we got stuck doing bullshit.

She claims we were going to do it anyway, i just hate filler assignments.

I've been on a big learning through absorbing kick lately.

I want to go to all kinds of lectures and just soak up as much as there is to hear.

I'm going to submerge myself in a new subject soon, I'm just not sure what yet.

Many people have been blogging about all of the lists they've been making, well I too am obsessed with lists and write things down over and over again recategorizing them.

to-do lists, to-read lists, to-see lists, to-google lists, to-draw lists; they're never ending.

Worked from 3-7 today too.

Ethan, Chris, Josh, LNUCK, and another girl came by and indulged.

I've become so lazy lately. I never want to work, or go to class.

On another note, Haunts opening weekend is this weekend.

That is the only work I'm stoked on, although it's more play than work.

My free tickets are going to Ethan, Allison, Josh and Chris; sorry, I only get four.

No, I cannot get you any kind of discount.

BUT! for this weekend if you go, its only 12 bucks instead of 15, and you get a voucher to come back for a second time for only $5. Two nights for only $17 as apposed to $30, thats pretty sweet.

Josh and Chris are coming by momentarily.

The festivities will then commence, starting with Quizno's. 

P.S. last night Ethan tattooed Chris's hand. Chris then did some sort of flip into my bed on top of me. It was a little bit rediculous. 

NEW FOUND GLORY//FOUR YEAR STRONG//CRIME IN STERIO tomorrow.

im way stoked.

come say hey to me and josh :]

in spirit of haunts, here's a braineaters image :]

1+1=3

designers aspire to make 1 and 1 equal three. 

to take two elements a generate a third from their design.

simplicity and complexity is perfection.

camden  makes me crazy.

we had our first critique today, all went well i suppose. 

he commented on my pattern and said he liked it, too bad my model blew.

whatever.

this past week has been the best.

new boyfriend, incase you missed the memo.

he's the most caring and amazing guy i could ask for.

this past week has contained a trip home to do epic amounts of laundry, cuddlefest 2k8.75, purchasing 36 packets of easymac, chocolate soymilk, halloween cupcakes, staying up until 5am with josh, and most of all, falling head over heels.

:]]]]

that is all.

i can't resist, i can't.

 this has been the best weekend ever.

the contents of this amazing weekend:

sushi.

maya.

pumpkin pie cheese cake.

tattoos.

say anything.

snuggles.

being cute.

rockband, lots of rockband.

not much homework, always good.

lots of lemuria.

shopping.

laughs.

there's a boy that i've met. he tells me the sweetest things; i havent stopped smiling all weekend.

i haven't felt like this in idk how long, its amazing.

you know what rules?

lemuria.

I told you last night you gave me butterflies
You surprise me with new cocoons everytime they start to fly
I instantly felt like an idiot
Embarrassed of the person controlling my mouth
My mouth it's always in a melee
Figuring out how as it talks
Your response was comforting
I guess I gave you butterflies too

best weekend by far.

kage

cage.

incha, maya.

josh, he thought josh was a chair; an empty ass chair and was most def talking to it.

fear.

i have a splitting head ache.

some frat boy tools were banging on my windows earlier.

i guess ethan threw trash at them, idk whats going on really.

took care of kage, hes trashed.

made the kids pb&j, just pb for chris.

im hella scared.

my chest is getting heavy.

and my hearts pounding.

my head feels like its going to explode.

i need to relax.

i need to stop being paranoid and just let things happen.

i talked a lot about the ex today :/.

i did not like that one bit.

i need to breathe in and let go.

i guess i've just been thinking a lot about what happened then.

i don't want that repeat, thats one thing i know for sure.

i can't sleep.

i keep trying to, but theres noise from the street; drunken screams, laughing, stumbling.

tomorrow night it will be much easier to sleep.

you'll finally be here rubbing my back until i finally drift off.

i'm the only one sleeping alone tonight.

i'm always the one sleeping alone, always.

today

josh is comming back to richmond.

maya and chris are in my bed.

i love them both.

is it saturday yet?

Maya's comming tonight. im really stoked.

dance party.

played epic rockband with chrisphillips and alli and ethan into the late hours of the night, or early hours of the morning rather.

24 more hours.

shake yo' boday.

CORNBREAD!

allison and i are the same person.

we decide to wear the same shirt, without even talking to each other about it.

MIGRATE, BYE

diva dave makes my life, p.s.

MIGRATE, BYE on urban dictionary.

Godfreys for the first time in ever.

loves it.

diva dave once said, "you gots a lint roller, you aint gotz no cats"

"STOP IT UPS!"

agsdkfjhaskjdfhjkajsdlfc

:D

a boy made me a lolcat.

thats definately the way to my heart.

:>

i do not want to go to class at 130...

camden makes me want to rip all of my hair out of my head

and just start screaming.

i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate it.

flasher much?

LOLOLOLOLOL

i can't stop smiling.

williamsburg

with Allison, Ethan, and Chris.

good times most def.

got sw337 new kicks. ;]

no homework is way rad.

not working on tuesdays is way rad.

i need a sugar daddy, so i wont have to work at all.

you're making me blush, btw.

and i got way called out today.

two more days :]

is this it?

hello, goodbye.

and we're taking calls.

now what was the question?

my inspiration is not always compatible with others.

it makes me angry and not want to participate.

i wish people would open their minds.

oh and.

i am looking foward to this weekend.

dance parties, sushi, smiles, and redeeming an i.o.u. for a massage.

i'm looking foward to it a great deal.

this could be the start of something amazing.

i won't hold my breath, but i will cross my fingers.

shit happens.

models were due today, epic fail.

camden wants us to be drafting out two patterns a day or something.

:/

this class is exactly like jake's class last year.

hopefully i'll catch on and start being productive more quickly.

i have a rendering assignment to do by monday, mixed media my favorite!

spending more money on art supplies, :[

ahh well. 

i want someone to bake me cupcakes... that would make my life right now.

someone to start giving back to me for once.

and can we take a second to admire these amazing dogshit bags?

i love it.

off to pull more color stories for tomorrows fundamentals class!

xoxo.

i have been banished

 from poating bulletins on myspace, thanks ethan. 

ya jerkface.

anyway, 2:11am.

i've been up hella late working on these stupid projects for camden's class.

i can't handle him, i can't handle the level of intellect that he is on.

i am becoming more and more brain dead.

i need more constants in my live.

common factors to keep order.

i need a man to protect me in the studio in the late hours of night.

someone who is going to be there for me to bounce ideas off of, keep me going.

criticize my work, not let me leave until its done.

i need someone new. 

what i have now i not what i need, not that the people in my life already aren't up to par, 

they just aren't what i need right now.

a few new people have come into play.

we'll see how it works out.

mikey's comming sunday.

xin it to win itx is playing rocks sunday, 

all the boys are staying here at my apartment, should be insane to be quite honest.

if youre not busy you should come too, idk who else is even playing, i can't seem to find anything about the show, which probably is not a good sign :/ 

meh.

i have too much on my mind to sleep.

whatever.

i need to.

good night.

check out my sweet find of gang signs :] mm. saucy.