freezing.

i'm in bed with three sweatshirts on, sweatpants, socks and two comforters.

this weather sucks. 

as do the windows of my apartment. 

i am miserable.

no one wants to/can go to shafer with me.

so bummed.

Monday night, well Tuesday morning really, Josh surprised me. 

He told me that Huskey needed to stay with me because he was on his way back from JMU.

I agreed to letting him stay and then tried my hardest to stay up. After falling asleep and waking up freaking out that Huskey was here and freezing outside, I got a call from Josh letting me know Huskey was thirty minutes away and that I just needed to stay up a little bit longer. It was about 3:45am when i get a text saying Huskey was outside my door. You see, Huskey's phone was dead and randomly had a pre-paid phone and kept calling Little Eric and Josh because he didn't have my number memorized. I got out of bed to let Huskey in, put on sweatpants and hoodie because its freezing outside. I opened the door and Josh was standing there. I'm pretty sure that was the best I've felt all month. I was so stoked. Oh, and Little Eric was there too of course, he drove his car which surprisingly made it. Seriously, that was the best thing anyones ever done for me. 

i'm going to stop blogging so i can put my hands under the covers, they're basically frozen.

25 ta life on friday at the beach, then back to richmond for work and a fuck ton of homework.

will this semester ever end?

this

rollercoaster ride is making me nauseous.

i've gone to the gym the past three days, i'm proud of myself.

i've been working on my self motivation in all aspects of my current life as of recently.

i could post more, but i think i'm going to have a bagel and go to the gym, again.

the

wait is over.

fuck

pessimism and hatred.

cab;fioah;sdlfkjaksd

i want to get tattooed.

and i hate the way i am.

i hate how i feel all the time now.

i hate being down on myself.

i hate that i hate so much.

i wish i could rewind my life sometimes.

i miss you.

:[ 3 more days.

dizzy.

recap of the weekend:

thursday: ray ray's birthday party.

friday: lunch's for the yrc birthday event.

saturday: free show at volume

today: back in richmond.

needless to say, there was a lot of cake on peoples faces.

i miss you. a lot. i cannot wait for this week to be over. and things to be normal again.

thats all i want. i just want to lay in bed in your arms for hours. i want all of these bad feelings to just go away. its like every time you turn around there's a horrible nightmare whispering in my ear. i don't want to be scared anymore. of anything. the fear won't go away until you're back here with me, and i know for sure.