what?

all of a sudden i have a studder and slur my words.
i try to talk too fast i suppose. my mind gets ahead of what's coming out of my mouth.


its almost my birthday. i don't know how i feel about that.
18th birthday: formal dinner party, my various groups of friends talked shit on each other. animosity was in the air. my mom made bangin' manicotti. i ended up crying.
19th birthday: i spent it alone and crying. life sucked, i wanted to die, i didn't eat for two weeks, my birthday fell in between those two weeks, i bought myself a car, which turns out to be the shittiest car in the world and isnt even mine anymore. the best thing that came out of that was patrick 1-800-flowers'd me some tulips. i never talk to patrick anymore, hes a quality individual though.
this year i can only hope it will be better. having your birthday on valentines day sucks. no one wants to hang out, or even remembers half the time because they're busy with their significant other. my best friend from 3rd until 10th grade had the same birthday as i did, so i knew we could always spend it together. tons of joint birthday parties, etc.

we shall seeeee.
maybe going to josh's moms next weekend too...
who knows.

xo.